The decision to get another dog

Bruce, my Kerry Blue Terrier, was my soul dog. He was born in 2011, and he lived until he was twelve and a half years old. Bruce was not an easy dog; he was a terrier and I, and everyone else knew it! Loving and affectionate to those he knew, not a fan of people or animals he did not know – especially cats, dogs, the window cleaner, the postman…basically everything.  He had attitude and character, and he was a bit of a handful, but he was my dog, and I loved his terrier attitude.

When Bruce was in his twilight years, I began to imagine what life would be like without him. Instantly, I would feel sick and anxious, and it would send me into a negative spiral. I could not imagine a world without him, and I was certain that I would never have a dog again. It was not because I didn’t want another dog; I love dogs. No, I could never imagine loving another dog as much as I loved Bruce. I also felt that I would ache for years, and that it would be somehow disrespectful to have another. Almost like, having another dog meant I didn’t love Bruce as much as I claimed.

I said goodbye to Bruce on October 2, 2023, and my heart was broken. I knew it was coming, and I had processed a lot of feelings before (see my other blog on ‘anticipatory grief’), but nothing could have prepared me for the pain I felt that day. I felt lost and bereft.

Then, a few days later, I started looking at puppies with honest intention. I felt ashamed, confused, and curious all at once. 

So here is the thing, I am a therapist, which means analysing EVERYTHING – It is annoying. I wondered whether I was trying to avoid my feelings or transferring my attachment to another dog. I wrestled with my thoughts and feelings until November, only 5 weeks later, when I put my name down for a Welsh Terrier puppy. I was excited as well as simultaneously overwhelmed by guilt.

Mabel the Welshie arrived in December, and at first, I thought, ‘Oh goodness, what have I done?’ She wasn’t Bruce, and she was small, bitty, and playful, like puppies are. She was a real handful!

I don’t know when it happened, but I know it wasn’t long after she arrived that I realised that this was the right decision, and that I loved Mabel differently, once I had stopped comparing her to Bruce.

The decision to get another pet is not an easy one, and whether you do or you don’t, you wait for years, or bring another pet into your life immediately, is your decision, and there is no ‘right way.’

For me, I love animals, and life without them, even temporarily, left me feeling out of sync. Once I stopped analysing what it all meant and looked at my decision through a compassionate lens, I stopped worrying.  I also knew that I could give another dog a wonderful life. Bruce will always be my soul dog, and bringing Mabel into my life has not diminished that, but there was room in my life and my heart to welcome another dog into my life.

My motivation for writing this is not to convince you to get another pet straight away. That’s a personal decision, and a path you must take. However, I know from experience that other pet owners have felt guilty about bringing other pets into their lives. My intention in sharing is to let those people know that it’s okay if you do, because it’s never about replacing or forgetting.